Baby Dedication

On Mother's Day we dedicated our sweet boy.

We made a commitment before the lord to raise him in the admonition of the lord, and a christian home.

Such an incredible charge that you daily are striving to live up to. 

little fella was worn out from missing his morning nap.

Here is hubs with his momma and half brother.

And somehow we managed to not get any pics with my family. 

typical. haha

Hope everyone had a wonderful mothers day!

And now I realize I have no picture of him all decked out in his outfit... I will need to take that pic!

Things I have learned thus far.

I know some of you are seasoned moms. 

You may find it commical that I even dare write about what I have learned thus far.

But for everyone, Parenthood is a journey, a refining process if you will.

My first bit of advice I recieved was while I was pregnant. 

Source: imgfave.com via Jenny Beth on Pinterest

Sidenote:

You see, I was quite a child terror. 

People that knew me as a child were always dying to hear "What had I done this time?"

I flushed pennies down the toilet, bathed the dog in fry daddy grease (ruined an oriental rug in the process) spray painted my parents brand new station wagon.

I was a curious child, or so I tell myself. haha

My advice: when your child does something.... laugh and grab the camera! This has saved me several times from an ugly moment.

ie. yesterday.

again, dont yell or get mad.. grab the camera.

usually I am crying I am so mad but laughing at the same time. Its emotions overload. 

Several of my friends (who are expecting) have asked what the hardest part was to this point.

For me... with my crazy girl... potty training.

Literally, she would pee in the floor and splash in the puddle. 

She even peed on friends carpet. (I could have died) She was defiant, she would do great all day long and when I was distracted for a brief minute she would strike. 

The first few days solely in underwear were like a chinese fire drill to our destination.

Our first few outings were to Target. Dear heavens, I felt like I was speeding and driving a woman in labor. 

She would bounce, scream "hurry, hurry" I was nervously saying "just hold it, one more minute till we are in the parking lot!!"

Quite hilarious now that I look back!!

Source: babygoodbuys.com via Jenny Beth on Pinterest

My next bit of advice: Do not think reading all the pregnancy books will EVER prepare you for being a mommy.

It won't!!

I am 7 years older than my brother. I started nannying in the summers at 14. I babysat every weekend (for the lack of my first 2 years of college) from 14 until my little girl was born when I was 22. I have had LOTS of practice.

I kept baby, school age, girls, babies, rambunctious boys, multiples, children with special needs. I thought I had experienced my share of all that was out there.

But, you see your own children know you! They know what buttons to push! It's crazy, but they do!

When you feel yourself about to get frustrated.. Walk away! It will save you from doing things you will regret later.

My last bit of advice: Talk about Jesus, and explain Jesus to your babies. From the very beginning. Sing songs, Explain the TRUE meaning of christmas, and the TRUE meaning of easter. 

A few weeks ago AC was talking to me while we were in the car. 

AC: "Mommy, did you know Jesus died on the cross to save us from our sins?"

ME: (about to burst into tears because what we are telling her is actually sinking in and she is regurgitating it!) "Yes honey I did know that!"

AC: "And when he died Mary put sauce on his bottom!"

ME: "PSSSSSSSShhhhhh WHAT?? Do you mean Mary Magdalene Annointed his body with oil?"

AC: "oh yah, that's it!!"

Later I discovered she was saying they covered his body in SALT!

I was dying!! But hey we made a memory and she is learning.

This is the first of a few posts of what I have learned in my past 4 mothers days (first was while I was pregnant!)

Stay tuned!

The Time has Come...

Guess what??

Sorry for the lack of "meaty" blog content lately. 

We have been spending almost every waking minute working on this place and getting it sparkly and clean for the soon-to-be new owners.

We don't officially go on the market for the next 15 days. 

Hoping to accomplish ALOT more. 

Stay tuned as I blog our final projects of our foreclosure fixer-upper over the next few days.

Remember that Prayer Request??

Okay so it has been way way too long since I posted a prayer request about my personal health. 

What had happened was.. (spoken like the ladies man) 

C was born on Jan 15, we went home the morning of the 16th.

By the 17th I was holding fluid, not a little... like... alot.

See.

28 pounds of fluid post delivery to be exact.

I called casey and he said its just the trauma of delivering. you are fine.

Two days later a dear friends mom brough us dinner. 

(wed night, baby was a couple days old)

She came in, sat the food down and said, umm you may want to make some lemon water. Lemons are a natural diuretic. 

So that night I lay in bed, propped under about 20 pillows. I couldnt lay down to sleep. It was too hard to breathe. 

The next morning I drank my lemon water. I also drank about 6 glasses of grapefruit juice. 

Nothing changed, fast forward to friday.

I called Casey around 4 and I told him I was starting to feel worse and I thought we needed to go to the ER. I called a friend who's husband is a paramedic and they told me to come over and her husband would check my "stats."

My resting heartrate throughout the whole pregnancy was around 80-90 bpm. I got there and he checked my oxygen level, BP, and heartrate.

My oxygen was only slightly off, my BP around 160/95 (high for me but still normal)

but my heartrate.... it was a consistent 39.

Friends hubby walked out of the room, my friend went to the kitchen to get her baby a bottle and she came in the den, sat next to me on the couch with the scariest look on her face and said; "Brent doesn't EVER freak out about things... but, uhhh I think you are going into heart failure! You need to go straight back to labor and delivery"

WHAT? I feel a little off but not heart failure!!!!

Friend then proceeded to call a good friend of her's who is a labor and delivery nurse.

The nurse agreed with Brent's concern and I met Casey at the house, 

our wild friday night was being spent going BACK to l&d with my newborn. 

Do you have ANY idea how weird it is to check in at the counter WITH your baby?? just plain weird! I know they thought I was nuts!!

Nurse checked everything out, hooked me up to monitors and everything was the same as when Brent took my stats. But my heartrate continued to drop. 

38, 35, 34, then 29. 

At that point you start setting off monitors, like repeatedly!!! Scary/annoying.

They took bloodwork, determined my liver enzymes were off. The dr on call told me she would notify my dr. and she sent us home with NO answers!

It made NO sense. 

Sat, Sun, still not sleeping, started to get some relief from the fluid, in 12 hours I urinated off almost 18 pounds of fluid! I thought I was feeling better.

By monday morning I had spoken with 2 friends moms who have been  l&d nurses for close to 25 years. 

They both suspicioned things but didnt want to scare me, they basically told me if I felt worse to not go to ER go straight back to l&d at the women's hospital.

Monday night I still felt bad.

I waited until AC was down for the night and I called my very dear friend Ruth. She graciously agreed to come and sleep at my house so we could go back to labor and delivery and hopefully get some more answers. 

me, casey and my one week old headed again back up to the hospital! At this point I felt pure D stupid!!

My dr happened to be on call and she came up to talk to me. She checked my heartrate and it fluxuated between 35-39.

She ordered an EKG, Echocardiagram, and a CT Scan. 

CT came back confirming I had pulminary edema as well as pitting edema all the way up to my thighs.

The EKG determined the electricity in my heart was off. 

She told me she was referring me to a dr who specializes in women's heart health.

Wednesday morning

This swollen girl and this tired baby headed up to the cardiologist. 

BTW those offices smell of moth balls and sucrets. I giggled, I was the youngest there by a good solid 40 years!!!

That dr ordered a stress test, another EKG and Another Echo.

She then determined I had Sinus Bradycardia.

She had NEVER seen cases like mine before and mine included she had 2 other patients, both who had recently delivered with similiar symptoms to mine.

She had no answers, to rhyme or reason as to why it happened it just did.

I had to wait for my medical release from the ob to come back for my stress test. 

By the end of the week I lost the last of the 28 pounds and I sat at home tired, confused, with a 2 week old, high blood pressure and a low heartrate.

This was about the time I believe I asked for yall's prayer requests.

Things were so uncertain and all I knew is it felt good knowing I was in the lords hands and soon enough I would have answers.

I went back at 4 weeks post delivery for my stress test. Everything went as it should have and my heartrate had returned to normal. 

My bp was at its normal 110/60.

The dr had no answers. 

Hooray she said everything corrected itself.

YES, hooray!!

But just like that?? how?? 

She had no answers for me, just said it's too weird! She told me when she attended her yearly cardiologist conference she would confer with other women-specialist cardiologist and let me know if she figured anything out.

I know she cares and was extremely thorough. She even called in the aneshesiologist to check what I was administered in labor.

Shortly after this test we met with Mrs. Lisa, my friends l&d nurse mommy for dinner. 

She said she had spoken with Ruth's mom, also a former l&d nurse and they both suspicioned I had peripartum Cardiomyopathy.

Basically...it is a rare disorder in which a weakened heart is diagnosed within the final month of pregnancy or within 5 months after delivery.

It occurs when there is damage to the heart. As a result, the heart muscle becomes weak and cannot pump blood efficiently. Decreased heart function affects the lungs, liver, and other body systems.

                                                     It only occurs in 1 in 1,300 pregnancies.

It is still undetermined If I actually have this but I have not been able to speak again with the cardiologist again to confirm this.

We are waiting until she returns from her conference to see what the future holds. As of right now I am "fine" and she wants me working out to build up the muscles in my heart.  If I DO have this there is a 25-50% chance of heart failure in a following pregnancy and the potential need for a heart transplant. 

With a sidenote: I know I had severe and extreme swelling post delivery with my daughter. I thought you just felt like a truck ran over you for the first 2-3 weeks and I am positive I had this with her. However, since i did not seek medical attention (mainly for lack of knowing other pregnant women, etc the dr's consider this a "first offense" and will not give me a NO, don't get pregnant again, it could kill you)

So as of right now Thank you thank you everyone for your sweet prayers, concerns and words of encouragement. We would love to continue adding to our family but not if it means my two living children would no longer have a mommy.

This has been the biggest reality check there could be.I know the lord has answered prayers thus far just hoping to get some clarity on the situation.

The only other diagnoses even mentioned were peripartum preeclampsia and I did alot of research showing my symptoms also went hand in hand with HELLP syndrome.

So.. for now... I start working out, and the story continues. 

The Pearl Event

I cannot believe I am almost a month behind on blogging!!!

( I forgot my camera )

I had the tiny digital cam, but it is not the same.

Pearls.
Precious pearls formed inside an oyster.

This is the example dear Sibi uses to illustrate the lords love for us.

He takes a grain of sand, they come a dime a dozen and Encloses it, Covers it, Forms it into something so precious and beautiful.

Such an incredible illustration!

This image is via Cha Cha from the Heartfelt Home.

The Pearl Event, The Double Strand!!

The Magnolia Ballroom was simply magnificent.

Sibi has such an incredible ability to indulge all the senses.

The stunning room.

The most fragrant candles.

Elegant bouquets distributed throughout the room.

(click on any of these images to be taken to this post on Sibi's blog)

These are ALL her photo's

And the perfect intermingling of tea lights everywhere.

I tell ya! It was a sight.

Here is the pearl girl herself at work.

The lord has an incredible way of using this precious woman to speak to women, to Minister to women.

I am so thankful for the lord allowing me to be spoken to through her words and allowed the opportunity to call her friend!

Her sweet husband snapped a quick picture of us before the event started!

Here is a group shot of all the speakers.

I think it must have been hormones but the lord really really spoke to me through Sarah. 

She bravely shared her story of losing her twin boys back in the fall.

As her story unfolded, she shared of the things she went through while pregnant with them.

In several ways we had similar occurances.

If I remember correctly one of the boys had fluid on their brain while in utero. 

(as did my sweet Connor) 

Trust me, as she shared pictures of her with her belly I went from tears streaming down my face to almost weeping. 

Then she shared her boys were to be born on Connor's due date.

This was the point where I really felt the lord saying "See Jenny Beth, I protected your baby, you feared and I removed the fluid, the chance of Downs was there and I allowed it to be corrected while I was still forming him."

I felt so unworthy to be able to hold my sweet boy and I longed for Sarah to be able to hold her sweet angels. Had Connor been with me I would have brought him to Sarah while at the conference, tears streaming down my face and said "Hold him, trust me I know the healing power of holding a newborn!"

Then she shared a picture.

The one that forever changed me.

After her c-section to deliver the babies she got to hold them. They were so tiny, so perfect, and they had lived the life the lord had planned for them.

As the lump welled up in everyone's throats you could see Sarah's peace. 

Her boys had gone to meet their savior and lord. They felt no more pain.

She portrayed such a beautiful living example of a mother's love and giving her children back to her savior.

Jesus is using this experience for the glory of christ!!

I am so in awe of her!!!

I was able to listen to Jane or "mother prayer" as they called her. 

That lady has a lifeline to Jesus!! She is a professional prayer on a radio station out of Nashville.

Talk about being able to learn alot from someone!!

I ended up having to leave after our lunch break from the conference. My mom had gone with me to keep the baby while I was there and he needed to be fed and actually had a small fever.

I made the decision to get my baby home and get him well.

I wish sooooo badly I could have heard all of the women speak. 

But you know what this means?? 

I will go again!! And I hope to invite Sibi to come and speak where I live sometime very very soon!!

All of the women had such powerful things to share and I know the lord had called them to share their experiences for his kingdom. 

I cant begin to imagine how hard it was for Edie to live through the burning of her home.

And though I don't know Sibi's story her experiences have been so rich, she just exudes the love of Christ!

I am so thankful the lord allowed various things to work out so I could attend and really speak to me. 

Trust me, I hug on and love on my sweet Connor with more thanksgiving knowing he was "healed" and he came into this world so easily!

Thank you Jesus!!

Jehovah Jireh

Pumpkin Patch

Last weekend we ventured about an hour away from home to go and pick our own pumpkins. 

This place is very kid friendly and had alot for us to do!

We rode a tractor out to the pumpkin patch!

This little horse was the sweetest thing. When we would stop rubbing his snout he would paw at the fence for us to keep going. Adoreable! 

Her recent obsession with horses was just increased! haha

New Year

As the new year begins and we return to preschool in a few short minutes I have a "mission" for myself.

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I am there to guide these children

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and tell them about my Jesus

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In hopes that a seed is planted and they will one day call him their savior

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Therefore this verse will urge me on.

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Deuteronomy ^6-9 Write these commandments that I've given you today on your hearts. Get them inside of you and then get them inside your children. Talk about them wherever you are, sitting at home or walking in the street; talk about them from the time you get up in the morning to when you fall into bed at night. Tie them on your hands and foreheads as a reminder; inscribe them on the doorposts of your homes and on your city gates. {the message}

Gradumicated

"So then, just as you received Christ Jesus as Lord, continue to live in him, rooted and built up in him, strengthened in the faith as you were taught, and overflowing with thankfulness."

Colossians 2:6,7 (NIV)

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Found this verse and thought it to be very fitting for the time in life we are experiencing. Casey just graduated on Saturday and it was such a wonderful occassion!!!

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We did it baby!!!

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He is so ready to enter his professional career and by the end of 2011 complete his CPA exams. 

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I feel like the worst is now FINALLY behind us. 

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Praise the lord!!!

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I am so mad that all the pics are so bright. i forgot to change the settings from the ceremony. ahhh

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A Day which will live in Infamy..

Today, this phrase has a whole new meaning for my family.
This morning my sweet husband will turn in his two weeks notice at his current employer.

This is a day we have drempt about since the day he proposed.

We knew we had a long two and a half year road of sacrifice, penny-pinching, school, both working two jobs and me still sewing out of our home... and in dave terms, "living like noone else so later we can live like noone else."

I can now confidently say i have looked in my pantry more than once and had to create meals for a week or so out of what we had. {but don't get me wrong... we always ate, and if hubby is cooking we ate good.... that is something he inherited from both his parents... whew that family can cook!!!}

We prayed several very scary prayers during this time and the lord continued to answer them.
{sometimes more suddenly than others}

He continued to whisper in our ears... keep going, you can do this.

I would read quotes throughout this time frame and some would say when you feel the most broken, the most hopeless, the most desperate. Don't...{feel this way} this is the Lord, he is preparing you... molding you, and purifing you into who he wants you to be so you can do the work of his kingdom.

Both of us... working every weekend, Casey going to school 4 nights a week.
Coming home, warming something, anything to eat, then collapsing on the couch.

We would lay in bed at night and dream of the day a job offer came in, we knew the thrifting, couponing, diy-ing, wearing what we already had would pay off.

Because when you are doing what you can to provide for your family your priorities are set straight.

People you thought the world of, they changed. You become their "Poor" friend who never can do anything.

We managed to pay off some debt in this time.

To really really really fall in love, and love deeper than i ever imagined possible.

And you know... when things happened I would remind myself through scripture this is the race/battle of life. And as i learned at such a young age the lord equips us to survive, fight, defend, and conquer.

I lost a job along the way...
but the lord provided.

We lost 90% of our friends along the way....
but the lord provided.

You know now i can confidently say the superficial, fashion driven person i was in college.... she died.

I still LOVE nice things, and even a few namebrands.

But everytime i begin to swoon over a Burberry this or a LouisVuitton that the Lord so softly whispers in my ear, thats not my plan.... live like noone else....

Now, two and a half years later my heart is fuller than it has ever been.
I feel more blessed than i ever imagined.

The new friendships i have made, they mean sooooo much more than the surface friendships before.

Maybe one day the lord will renuite some of us.

If not, i know they were there in my life for a reason. I went through denial, grieving, not understanding why these people were being so ugly. but now i know. The friends i am making now... are the ones i would walk through fire for.

So, all with one little typed letter, in 12 short days the future of my family will begin.

We have another chapter in our Dave Ramsey journey to begin. Paying off student loans...

I know i will be just as emotional about that as i have been about this.

Our projects will remain on a super tight budget.. cause face it.... knowing you created the same great look in your home paying next to nothing feels good.....

And come to think of it... i never knew till now why the lord gave me the creating abilities he did.

But now i know. He is using me for his kingdom. My talents are in my genes.

My dad's a hairdresser.Mom's a seamstress.Grandmother was a wedding dress maker.

It's in my blood.

And my husband will leave the banking industry on December 21st and on December 28th join a local Accounting firm performing audits in the banking industry.

So you see all along the lord was in control, shaping him, teaching him, molding him for the position he knew he would soon be offered.

We are sad to leave where he has been, wonderful people....

But very excited to see what he can accomplish at his new position.

I am more proud than you could EVER imagine.

And if i have never told you.... My husband is smarter than anyone i have EVER met. Not only is he starting a new job, and graduating, he has already passed one portion of his CPA....

Three more to go...

I also wanted to thank all of you for your continued support of our work on our little home along the way.

Thank you for letting me give you a little glimpse of us in real life.

Now... off to get ready to share all the homemade crafts i have made to celebrate the birth of our king.

Preparing a Place

John 13:1-17 NIV

 ¹It was just before the Passover Feast. Jesus knew that the time had come for him to leave this world and go to the Father. Having loved his own who were in the world, he now showed them the full extent of his love.^[a] 2The evening meal was being served, and the devil had already prompted Judas Iscariot, son of Simon, to betray Jesus. ³Jesus knew that the Father had put all things under his power, and that he had come from God and was returning to God; ⁴so he got up from the meal, took off his outer clothing, and wrapped a towel around his waist. ⁵After that, he poured water into a basin and began to wash his disciples' feet, drying them with the towel that was wrapped around him.

¹¹For he knew who was going to betray him, and that was why he said not every one was clean.
 ¹²When he had finished washing their feet, he put on his clothes and returned to his place. "Do you understand what I have done for you?" he asked them. ¹³"You call me 'Teacher' and 'Lord,' and rightly so, for that is what I am. ¹⁴Now that I, your Lord and Teacher, have washed your feet, you also should wash one another's feet. ¹⁵I have set you an example that you should do as I have done for you. ¹⁶I tell you the truth, no servant is greater than his master, nor is a messenger greater than the one who sent him. ¹⁷Now that you know these things, you will be blessed if you do them.

I know this was alot of a verse to read but last sunday our sweet new pastor preached on these words. 

Jesus went to Judas {knowing he would betray him only a few short hours later} knelt before him and graciously cleaned his feet. 

When was the last time you went to someone and even though they betrayed you, you knelt before them and continued to willing serve. Knowing they would still deny you. 

Many people in blogland have spoken about losing friends and the hurt it brings. 

Trust me, it has happened over and over and when i think its done it happens again. 

People I thought the world of, loved despite their faults, they just blatantly ignored my knocks at their door, my calls, and emails.

The lord says continue to wash their feet, continue to love, even if like Peter, they deny you three times. 

Wash their feet, and love them anyway.

You see no matter what the circumstance the Lord is Preparing a Place.

Whether it be a place in your heart, or your home, he is preparing.

What comforting words, to remind me when I want to be quick to anger.

That is not for me to do. The lord will handle that on judgement day, but continue to love and serve, and think kind thoughts, and pray for whatever place he is preparing. 

May it be a child.....

a rekindled friendship...

a job..

a loved one....

He has prepared that place for you, but it is our job to walk as he did and serve others.

Hope these words bring some encouragement to your day. 

So many times i want to throw my hands in the air and say " I am threw being the nice guy!!" The the soft whispers of the lord say, not yet, I am not done working on you, and through you. 

He is Preparing a Place.

20 months/Wordless Wednesday

The past few weeks of summer have flown by faster than I could ever have imagined them to. 

MY chubby little baby is turning into a little girl. 

She is soaking in every single morsel of life with each second that passes.

 I am so thankful the lord brought this blessing into my life, she has changed me. I used to be rude and judgmental, dare I say conceited and materialistic. She has softened my heart and made me thankful for every single individual that crosses my path. 

For that I can not begin to express the love that has flooded my heart!!

Thankful on a Thursday

One of my sorority sisters from college is hosting, Thankful on Thursday. I think i will join!! If you have never read Gini's blog its great!! so cute and she always inspires me to save more!!!

this Thursday I am thankful for my sweet husband, in 4 short days we will have been married for 2 years, i can't believe how quickly time flies!!

{this is 2 weeks after we started dating and

 he came home with me for a wedding and to meet my parents!!}

We have been through ALOT in the past 2 years and at the end of the day there is nothing like coming home and curling up on the couch with your best friend!!

• He makes me laugh, sometimes i laugh so hard i cry....,
• he makes me some of the most creative and delectible (sp?) food {my man can cook!!, (said with a paula deen accent)}
• and most importantly he loves me and respects me. 

I am so thankful the lord brought him into my life, and everytime he tried to get my attention, and i blew him off... OH LORD thank you for his patience.(I will tell that story on our anniversary, stay tuned) We all know i can be slightly dramatic at times. hehe ;)

Go on over here to Gini's blog and see what she is thankful for this thursday... her Little Claire will melt your heart!!

The love dare

I have been meaning to share with you what I have learned from reading this amazing book.

Since becoming a mommy my heart is very full for others, at this point in my life I am not Able to financially assist others the way I would like to but I can pray for them and ask the lord to be with ppl and give them the guidance they need. The love dare has shown me how to be much more open with my feelings and more real with my spouse.I shouldn't expect him to read My mind,I have to explain to him what it is I need to feel safe, one of those things is knowing we are not living above our means. I can proudly say we are well on our way to financial peace and as of February 1 everything but student loans and the mortgage is paid off. This was for me the first step to feeling "safe."

Within the first 10 days the book encourages the reader and the spouse to create boundaries for one another. Boundaries are healthy and necessary rules of engagement. Once you establish those boundaries you must begin to live by them.

Then you begin to pray for your spouses heart and the ways god can begin to work in your marriage. This is where the lord really begin to bless my heart. Being able to simply spend time with my husband is something I don't take for granted. My husband is working full time, going to school part time, and also has a part time job on the weekends, so when Tuesday nights and Sunday nights roll around I can't wait to spend time together!!

Stay tuned s I continue to share what the lord is doing in our lives!!

Verse for day 17

1 John 4:18

There is no fear in love; but perfect love drives out all fear.

-- Jb

Preppie Peonie

For those of you I have met through Mrs. Pearls and Grace's McLinky party also check out The Preppie Peonie.

This is my applique site.. This is my new hobby. A little bit about me....

My love.... DESIRE... GOD GIVEN TALENT is sewing. I could sit down at my sewing machine, turn the sucker on, change the settings and just go.... I literally have sat at a machine for almost 12 hrs straight in college working on various projects. On preppie peonie you can be directed to my wordpress site where i started my portfolio. (hence started) my current two blogs are for me to showcase the work i actually have done on my own without a class room.

My grandmother was a wedding dressmaker. My mom a french hand sewing master. And me... i dabble in a little of everything. (but i am scared silly of making a wedding dress)

I learned how to sew at 9. I taught myself to smock at 13. And began learning Adobe Illustrator, and Auto-CAD in college. The most exciting thing about sewing to me is pattern making. I want to be able to buy some muslin drape my form then create my own pattern, my own look, my very own specialized just for me dress. What do i need for this outlandish task???

A DRESS FORM

I am currently in the market for a professional WOLFE dress form. These suckers can set you back as much as $400 bones. I am about to start scavaging all thrift stores and flea markets come spring and hope someone has one of these fabulous gems tucked away somewhere just waiting for me..

For now i will just dream and one day soon begin to sketch again. Right now those dreams are being lived vicariously through one of my college school mates, Anthony. He is on the current season of Project Runway.

Facing Your Giants

Hokay soo.... It just donged on me that I have been blogging now right at a year. It has been an interesting past year; raising a child, buying our first home, getting a job, loosing a job, getting a new job that i LOVE, loosing some precious friendships, deepening the friendships i already have and learning about myself.

Some things i have learned is that if there is a problem in my life, first fix me, go to the lord with my concerns and ask for his forgiveness and let him guide my decisions. 2009 was an emotionally taxing year and i feel that the lord did not give me more than i could handle but he did present situations to me that he knew i would need to rely on him to overcome.

I am slowly making my way through Facing my Giants by Max Lucado. This book is the story of David and how the lord used him and his vices, and how the lord helped him overcome. Max Lucado has been given such a talent and the way he writes really speaks to my heart and convicts me of how i "Face my Giants." I hope once i complete this book to be able to share my stories with all of you and encourage you with the giants in your lives.

I know for my dear friend Stephanie, its her new pup Judd. For you is it your boss, spouse, family member, kicking a bad habit, loosing weight? Each of us have our own temptations and i use that word lightly. Satan contstantly tempts us to give in to them, let them have their way. But what i am beginning to realize is my problems arent for me to handle, they are the lords. He determines who to extend mercy to and who to punish, not me. We reap what we sow. 

Are you currently sowing some bad seeds? 

Do you need to ask forgiveness for what you are doing and repent before you begin reaping those seeds??

I hope each of you begin feeling the lord change your heart as we move into a new year and make you a kinder more understanding person as he is doing with me. If you need a good book to comfort you through the storm and teach you how to overcome Facing the Giants is it.

Reflecting

If you know me well you know I am a questioner. I am always questioning why someone did or didnt say something to me when i see them around town. I question where i will be in five years. I used to question who i would marry and what my kids would look like and the kind of dog i would have. EVERYTHING....

Now that my married life is settling down and we are beginning to plant ourselves into the south i have to begin to question... Will my next child be born in this home? Will we EVER wrap up all the projects in this house before we move? Will we have another rat sneak into our house? Will casey and i actually get to take our "exotic honeymoon" vacation one of these days??

Now at this point you may be questioning.... What is the point of this post?? The point is.... always know that God is with you. He is there to carry you through your decisions in life, help give you a level head and discernment, and comfort you when your upset. 

If I knew 2 years ago what the lord was going to bring me through I wouldnt have believed him. If I had someone tell me i would marry casey right after i met him i wouldnt have believed them. But honestly god can make your dreams come true. I prayed one simple prayer, asking the lord to move me and draw me closer to him. I didnt know i would encounter the situations I did but I wouldnt change the way any of the instances occurred. I discovered who my true friends are through this. 

The people I always wanted to be better friends with it helped me realize that they werent meant to be in my life any longer, but the ones who ARE god really opened up a window and brought such a fullness that the meaningless friends could NEVER have fulfilled. Each of you inspire me to be more creative, you each challenge me in my relationship with the lord and you show me love in such an unconditional way.  I love each of you so much and am so thankful for the time you have spent with me throughout the longest year and a half of my life. It is so hard to believe in 10 days my little suprise will be one year old. I can honestly say the lord really knew what he was doing by bringing such a sweet tempered, loving, wonderful little girl into mine and casey's lives. 

Thank you for all your support.

The future is looking up!!

okay here it is I GOT A JOB!!!! holy crap finally i find a delightful position that i am anxiously awaiting to start tommorrow. for everyone who has prayed for my future i greatly appreciate your prayers... especially jake and steph, hayley, emily,lauren, amanda, and erica. yall have stood by me and listened to my complains and helped me see that the lord is holding my future not me..... the most wonderful thing happened today as well Jake found a new job in birmingham!!!! we were both with miserable companies, doing mundane tasks, trying to improve our work conditions despite the miserable bosses we had.... and low and behold the lord answers our prayers all in the same week.

for those of you that dont know jake was casey's college roommate and his beautiful wife, stephanie has been one of the sweetest friends to me since we met. since being married we have made ZERO married friends except for them but for the number of friends we lack the lord has made up in the love that has overpoured from the Eldridge's. as i pray for my position at SS i also pray that Jake's position in the 'ham brings him as much fulfillment and happiness as does mine. post of the first day to follow. thanks again everyone for all your support throughout this time. casey and i have truely learned needs and wants and the differences. the only individual in our family that this mildly doesnt apply to is our pint sized princess. i mean hello we can wear old ratty clothes for the rest of our lives but our pride and joy WILL have the best.

Oh the places you will go... a tribute to high school sr. yr.

Okay so i will make a long story short. the theme of my senior yearbook was oh the places you will go... the other day i was in target perusing the dollar section and found some dr. seuss bowls to feed baby her cereal in. one had the quote on in and hence this blog post came to fruition. so a brief update with us is.... SUPRISE i am looking for a job. With Dr. Seuss on the brain I did a mental flashback to my senior year. I knew i would attend college and marry my prince charming... That was about all i planned for in my 5 yr. plan. I knew i would go cool places, ie. a bunch of sec football games, st. croix, st. thomas, and st. john, and i knew i would make the best friends someone could ask for but i never imagined being stretched emotionally, physically, and spiritually the way that i have been in these past five years.

Having ac has been such a blessing and being a parent has not been a challenging task, i guess all that babysitting did pay off afterwhile huh??? Since having her my "sewing" skills (blog with this coming soon....) have been challenged beyond imaginable means, making crib bedding, YIKES, know the lord before you experiment with this one!!! and the best has been helping my mom design ac's christening gown. working with my mom on this project has been the most rewarding thing i think that my degree could have brought me. it used to be that sewing was something my mom and i couldnt discuss without fighting about it. now it is such a joy and honor to learn under her. uhh the places we have come from. mother daughter love hate relationship to a mother daughter relationship of thankfulness, respect and longing to obtain the knowledge she does.

now i look to the places we will go in the next 5 years. I will have a husband hopefully graduated from college, an almost 6 year old. hopefully an old beagle who doesnt bark everytime the wind blows, i hope to have a beautiful garden that i can tend to while little girl is at school, and maybe just maybe my store of french handsewn rental dresses i have always wanted to own. (i will blog about that dream one day soon) Hopefully our current home will be a home of the past our "love" investment property. and we will be on our way to a long wonderful life together. i cant wait to see where the lord will take us and guide us in the next 5 years....

aha!!

So, i know life is filled with wow moments and about a week ago i had mind. I was recently terminated from a horrible miserable job that i would drag myself to everyday. I prayed every morning for the lord to just get me through the day and at the end of the two weeks there would be a paycheck to reward my miserable work. now i have had some time to think since i was released and here is what i have discovered.
1. people who are old and uneducated and your boss feel inferior to you.
2. if you come up with a better idea than they had then they are resenting you
3. when you are around garbage that cusses and talks about sleeping around all the time what does that make you? a gossiping, loose-lifestyle following example of the majority of all people.
4. realizing that god has called you to live a better, more fulfilling life free of smut... ahhhhh

so then the aha hit me. PATIENCE my child, is what god kept whispering in my ear. He released me from my prison, prompted me to phone an acquaintance, and now i am waiting to find out about a job within my field of study, paying double what i was making before, and with hopefully people the lord wants to place in my life.

I have learned over the past three months that i need to have a management team around me that builds each other up, when they make mistakes guide them through them so they dont happen again, and encourages me in my faith. Now other than be patient what do i need to do most??? begin praying for my future co-workers, that they love the lord and can encourage me in my faith....

Another aha i had. when you are drained from a miserable job you become a crummy wife and a pathetic excuse for a mother. so the past week has been the best, most relaxing, most fulfilling that i have had as a mother and a wife. partially because AC began saying "memememe" which sounds alot like mommy, and "dededede" which sounds alot like daddy.

What i have discovered this week that s new about ac:
she likes to eat paper ( my little billy goat)
she loves to spill Luke's water bowl and splash around in the water
she loves to play with pots and pans
she likes to hear herself echo in my stand up shower
she can stand on all fours and look through her legs at whats going on behind her. (she thinks its hilarous if you pop out of no where and say boo while she is doing this)
she LOVES pickles..... only the kosher sandwich spears... wierd?? i know!!!